


Unburied

by Elindae



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Drama, Post-Episode: s01e20 Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elindae/pseuds/Elindae
Summary: After Starscream's disastrous attempt to join the Autobots, he flees, only to be found by Optimus with the intent of bringing him back to base. Things go horribly wrong, though, and the two are imprisoned in a cave-in. Optimus asks Starscream to try again at joining the Autobots and to renounce his Decepticon ways, but Optimus learns from Starscream that the line between Autobots and Decepticons is blurrier than he thought, and that the Autobots are more similar to Decepticons than he'd like.Starscream and Optimus soon learn that there is much more to both of them than either one thought.





	Unburied

Starscream felt dead inside.

Sparks flew as the metal cuff hit the rock. A loud clang echoed through the dusty canyon and Starscream slumped to the ground, exhausted. He took a deep breath through his intake, stiffened his aching limbs, and struck again. The cuff hit the jagged stone, a long dent stretching its way across the warped, bent metal. Starscream groaned and looked to the sky at the long, winding clouds floating by, a gleam in his exhausted optics. A cold wind blew by, flowing past his restrained wings and activating thousands of delicate sensors with its cool touch, a harsh shudder running through his bound wings. 

This rugged canyon had become his haven, a place of protection against the raging femme and her vengeance. He shook his head, sneering at the dust below and the level to which he’d fallen. He had come to them, bent the knee and pleaded his loyalty to the Prime, spoke of his great desire to become an Autobot and fight against the unjust tyranny that was his former Master. He’d been so tantalizingly close to being accepted, to becoming one of them and taking on their insignia and continuing the fight for Megatron, but from somewhere new. He could’ve gone on to somewhere where his actions might’ve actually made a difference, a place where beatings were softer and his words were heard. The opportunity was laid before him, and it was his to take advantage of.

And with a few misplaced words, he had lost it.

The moment the femme’s flashing optics turned to him, he knew he had made a mistake. Eons of twisting words and carefully constructing sentences so that he could play the mind and achieve what he wanted mattered little; her rage carried her forward, and with it destroyed any hope of actually being accepted and destroying Megatron.

And so here he was, bound, shackled, and cut off from the sky in a dusty canyon, throwing his frame with all his might into a jagged rock.

He struck the rock again, and a new dent appeared in the cuff around his wing. He was so close.

Starscream grit his dentae as he leaned back and threw himself at the rock again, the cuff shrieking as the metal bent harshly. He could’ve maybe been listened to, not just tolerated and seen as a nuisance, but as someone with intelligence, someone—

He hit the rock again, a hot blast of air blowing out from his vents. He could’ve escaped the Decepticons, gone to a place where he wouldn’t be so roughly cast aside and forgotten in favor of someone obviously treacherous and untrustworthy, all because they’re shinier with more weapons—

He hit the rock again. The sharp, jagged point missed the cuff around his wings and hit his wing itself, cutting a gash through the delicate white metal. 

Pain exploded across his wing and energon splattered against the rock. A strangled cry escaped his intake and static buzzed at the edges of his vision as pain took over his senses—

A loud, whooshing roaring sound blasted into his audials. A harsh green glow lit up the bend around the canyon and lit up the surrounding stones in high contrast.

Starscream froze, a cold dread settling within him. They’d found him. He didn’t know who, but he knew he had to get away, whether it be the Autobots who rejected him oh so recently or the Decepticons, who had always rejected him.

His plating shifted as his T-cog thrummed to life, energy racing through his frame as he prepared to take off, to fly away and escape—

A sudden and swift jolt shook his body as his wings clanged against the dented cuffs. His vision swam for a moment as the transformation sequence rapidly aborted and left him kneeling there, shaking slightly and bleeding energon. Loud, heavy pedesteps came from around the corner and Starscream shot up to his pedes, swaying unsteadily as the loud pedesteps grew ever closer. He ran behind a rock, hiding behind it as his intakes came in harsh short gasps and his frame shook.

Starscream gulped and took a deep breath, his optics narrowing as he forced himself to peer around the rock he was hiding behind.

Bright blue and red armor reflected the sun on the other end of the canyon as Optimus Prime walked forward, his blue optics combing the jagged rocks and crevices for any sign of the Seeker.

Starscream swore in Vosian. They must’ve installed a tracker somewhere in his cuffs and now here they were, ready to take him back to their base, but as a prisoner this time, and not a potential teammate. They would interrogate him, make him suffer for the Autobot energon he’d spilt, and their fury would come to rival Megatron’s as they brought beatings upon him. He shuddered, a blue femme with harsh blades glinting in the sun coming to mind. No, no need for that.

As long as he stayed silent and held still, the Prime would hopefully walk right past him and search in some other crevice, granting him enough time to flee and break these pesky cuffs off of him, and then he could take off, never to be seen by the Prime again.

The Prime continued forward and Starscream’s vents hitched as he drew near, his shadow passing over the shivering Seeker as he peered behind a large boulder on the other side of the narrow canyon. He just had to wait for the Prime to turn the next bend around the canyon and leave, and then he’d be free to run away. He was so close—

A loud drip echoed through the canyon.

A blotch of energon had fallen from the great tear in Starscream’s wing and hit the dusty ground below him. The Prime’s helm snapped around and looked right at the boulder where Starscream laid hidden. 

He cursed silently, his wings shaking as his talons curled and he tensed his every muscle.

The Prime looked around the rock and made optic contact with Starscrean, his cool blue meeting Starscream’s bright red as the Seeker struck. Starscream’s legs pushed against the ground below and he sprung into the air, long claws extending from his talons as he brought them forward. Starscream landed on the Prime, hissing as his talons lashed out and cut into the Prime’s chassis. Prime stumbled back, the hissing seeker leaping off of him and then speeding down the canyon. 

Prime immediately sprung into action, taking off after Starscream, his longer legs carrying him to the Seeker much more quickly.

“Starscream—" began Prime, but never finished. He jerked his helm to the right as a bolt from a null ray went flying past him and collided with the canyon wall, showering rocks and dust onto the ground below. Starscream’s pedes skid against the rock as he made a harsh turn, his bound wings banging loudly and painfully against the canyon wall, making him yelp. He turned around whenever he could, shooting at the Prime with his null rays as he ran forward.

The cuffs around his wings rattled with each exhausting step he took, narrowly held on by a thin band of bent metal. He saw a rock cutting out into the air before him and shot forward with a burst of speed, lifting his wings to the sharp corner while preparing to strike, to free himself and fly away.

The rock exploded, huge chunks raining down and falling in front of him. Starscream’s momentum carried him forward, his pedes scrambling beneath him and kicking up a cloud of dust as his frame slammed into the fallen boulders. His helm spun and he groaned, a groan that quickly turned into a yelp as a massive servo closed over his shoulder. Starscream turned around and stared faceplate to faceplate with the Prime, one servo firmly holding him down as the hot blue glow from Prime’s blaster washed over him.

Prime’s stern faceplate looked down at him, his blaster transforming back into his right servo, placing it upon Starscream’s other shoulder.

“Starscream, you are coming with me,” he said, his grip tightening as the Seeker flinched below him, the dark and serious tone of his voice bringing up unwelcome memories of a certain warlord.

“Never,” Starscream snarled. “If you think I’ll come back with you hypocrites, you’re wrong! First you say you’ll give me a chance, and then next thing I know I’m in a battle to the dea–”

The canyon rumbled ominously. Prime’s helm shot up and he scanned the walls as bits of dust fell down. Starscream saw his opportunity and took it. He shot up to his pedes, trying to push off the servos holding him down with his talons as he shook with effort. Prime wrapped his arm around the thrashing Seeker, his firm grip on Starscream preventing him from being able to use his talons as he was shoved tight against Prime’s chassis.

“I need a groundbridge, now!” Prime shouted into his com as the canyon rumbled again, shaking them down to their protoforms. Rocks came falling down, the whole world tilting and shifting as the sun was obscured by falling dust and stones. The last thing Starscream saw was the Prime yanking him to his chest and curling over him as something hard struck his helm.

***

Starscream mumbled something in Vosian as he paced through the small cave.

Bits of sandy dust flew into the air in soft, curling clouds that fell down, coating Starscream’s silver legs as he paced through the dirt. At first glance he was poised, his long stride carrying him swiftly through the narrow cavern. The cold, clean cut of his armor reflected the faint blue glow of Optimus’s optics from across the cave, his armor rippling across his frame as he whirled around, the sharp edges of his great wings cutting through the dust in the air and casting long bands of shadows on the rocky walls.

At first glance, he was in control as he worked his way through that narrow space; he was Commander Starscream, Second-in-Command of the Decepticon army. The confidence and the surety of his movement almost seemed a physical thing in that cave, and it was not hard to imagine his processor racing with a hundred thousand plans and a hundred thousand outcomes.

But Optimus was no regular mech. His blue optics tracked the pacing Seeker back and forth through the cave, and saw things no one else could. Starscream’s wings shuddered imperceptibly and were pulled tight. His armor slid and moved as he walked, creating a faint ringing sound that shouldn’t be there. A faint drip of energon fell out of a gash in his wing and onto the cave floor. His long, lithe legs carried him across the cave in wide steps, but Optimus saw the hidden tightness, the taut muscles and tense struts he knew Starscream to be struggling to control.

He was not truly Commander Starscream in that moment, but a scared, frightened mech, closed in physically by a thousand boulders deep within the earth, and closed in mentally by a mind-numbing terror. It was a terror not immediately obvious. Over the long course of years serving and being served, Optimus had learned to read mechs in ways no others could; he learned to understand that the slight waves and oscillations in a mech’s EM field were a sign of internal struggle, and that that hardy glare and steely determination he saw so often in optics could be a ruse, pulled up to hide the raw fear a mech was feeling within. They were they ones to come forth and stand tall with the steely drive to make things happen, and were the ones you found staring dead into space with marks on their arms. He’d seen it in his commanding officers and the lowest of foot soldiers, for it was a kind of fear not experienced just on the battlefield, but in every second of every day; a waking, walking terror that consumed the calmest and most seemingly in control mechs, who appeared confident and sure on the outside, but were dying on the inside. 

Starscream was dying.

“I am sure that everything will be fine.” Optimus said calmly.

Starscream’s EM field roiled for a second before settling, the frothing quakes of alarm quieted and pulled in tight against his cold frame as he turned around to Optimus. “Oh, I’m sure they’ll come,” Starscream said. “They will come, and they will labor to dig and dig to unearth you, and when they find me down here as well, you will take me and lock me up in a cave of another kind, but with bars instead of boulders.” he said, his pauldrons rolling across his shoulders as his mouth formed into a sneer. “If you think that I will stand by and let you drag me off, you’re wrong!” he sneered, and there it was again, that shudder through his frame that coursed from his plume down to his heel-struts. 

He walked to the opposite side of the cave and before Optimus could protest, he banged the metal cuff around his wings against the wall. The cuff twisted and warped with a shriek of metal, splitting and falling to the cave floor. Optimus watched, bemused as Starscream fluttered his wings and rolled his shoulders, a look of pure bliss on his faceplates as he shuttered his optics in satisfaction. Starscream opened his optics again and for a moment they widened as he saw a giant heap of boulders piled high above him, making a brief flash of terror strike through his field before dissipating. Starscream shook his helm and mumbled, pedes clacking against the floor of the cave as he resumed pacing.

Starscream could feel the still, dense air of the cave as it hung around him. He could feel the cold biting into his frame as grits of dust and dirt swirled through the air and coated his frame, floating into and cloying up his internals. Starscream paced to the opposite side, the red glow from his optics illuminating the piled up rocks and boulders as he shivered and turned around. He raised his leg, preparing to take another step, when suddenly he felt his pede hit something hit as he fell down with a clang.

Optimus was there in a second, his concerned blue optics flashing over the quivering Seeker's frame as Starscream shakily tried to stand.

"Are you alr-"

"I am fine." Starscream hissed, swaying as he got back on his feet and continued to rein in his EM field. He looked up at the walls surrounding him on all sides and quickly looked away, his field briefly pulsing in fear. The ceiling was low over the cavern and seemingly hung above him, ready to drop and crush him underneath. He shuddered as a cold dread settled in him, his EM field writhing before Starscream pulled it tight against his frame.

He was suddenly aware of something wrapped around his waist, holding him as the cave stopped blurring and he stopped swaying. Starscream looked up, the Prime looking down at him with a small frown.

"Starscream, you are not well." the Prime said, all stern as his grip on Starscream's waist tightened.

Starscream gulped, trying to ignore the dust floating in the air and clogging his vents. "Of course I'm not, I'm stuck underground with a haughty Prime, and-" Starscream tried to wiggle out of Optimus's grasp, but failed as the grip on his waist tightened.

"You've been acting strange ever since the cave-in. You are not okay." the Prime said, guiding Starscream into a sitting position beside him on the floor.

Starscream fidgeted as he looked up at Optimus, trying to keep his optics locked onto the Prime's face and away from the pile of boulders enclosing them and the low ceiling. His wings twitched and itched as the world swayed again, the boulders surrounding them on all sides seeming to move closer.

"It's-" Starscream began, tightly shuttering his optics as his wings flapped nervously behind him, the Prime's concerned field brushing against him.

"Seekers don't do well underground--we need the open, wide sky and--" he yelped as the cave rumbled deeply. Optimus frowned and looked at the surrounding cave. If he were to stand, there would be a feet feet of air above his head, and if he were to stretch his arms out to his side, he would cover half the width of the cavern. Not good. Starscream’s wings occasionally brushed against the cave walls as he paced, making him briefly slow his pacing and flinch, his optics dilating before he pulled the veil of normality back onto himself and resumed his panicked walking. Optimus shuttered his optics and filtered through his databanks; his knowledge on Seekers was scarce due to the rarity of it. What he did know, though, was that Seekers were notoriously claustrophobic. He’d heard rumors of Seekers going mad, destroying themselves in an attempt to escape confined spaces. They needed the sky, they are the sky, and as of that moment the sky was blocked out by an enormous barrier of giant boulders.

Optimus didn’t know this side of Starscream well; he’d seen the bravado and arrogance as he sliced through the air, raining fire and the Pit down onto him and his soldiers, missiles firing and sharp claws lashing out while being accompanied by even sharper words as he schemed and plotted to take you and everyone else apart. This was not that arrogant mech, but the darker, panicked version of him that was always there seemingly, but never came out. Until now, that is. He needed to be careful, he knew this much. His words would bring on denial and rejection, but he had to reach Starscream and quell his panic. He had to.

“You are right in that when,” and he emphasized that bit, “my team finds us, we will take you back with us, but we will provide treatment for your wound and ask that you cooperate. There’s still a chance, Starscream.” Optimus said. 

Starscream looked at him, uncertainty flashing through his field. “A second chance at what?” he said, his voice a strange tone. Optimus knew that Starscream knew what he was talking about.

“At becoming an Autobot.” Optimus said softly. 

Silence descended upon the cave and made the already tense air as dense as the rock around them. Starscream shuttered his optics and opened them again, staring at Optimus with a strange expression. Optimus ran through the possibilities; he expected rage at nearly having his life taken by the Autobots when his secret was spilled, false bravado and claims that he needed to not be an Autobot and was fine being rogue, accompanied with an undercurrent of fear at the prospect of starvation in the wilderness, or maybe even a bold statement declaring his refound loyalty to Megatron. 

He was not expecting laughter.

It rose up out of Starscream and exploded out of him, a strange mirthless noise that reverberated through the small cave. Starscream stood and stooped over, holding onto his knees as his frame shook with more laughter. 

“If you think that I am still interested in joining your hypocritical faction, you are dearly mistaken, Prime,” he said, an undertone of malice hidden under the title. “I came to you as an ally, willing to give you all that you needed to succeed in defeating my traitorous faction, and I narrowly escape with my life! I was attacked, pushed up against a wall and nearly deactivated at the servos of one of your peace-loving soldiers! But I fought back, I don’t yield. I was not forged so that I may be pushed underpede by others wishing to stomp over me. I command no and and I am commanded by no one.” Starscream said, whipping around to face the Prime. “I will not exchange one tyrant for another.” he said, a wild look in his optics.

“Arcee’s actions today were wrong, Starscream. You had come to us asking to join us and we had given you a chance, but her anger consumed her reason and destroyed it. She has learned, though, and so have all of us. Revenge achieves nothing and will not quell the anger in your spark. Arcee learned this. So can you,” Optimus shifted a little and looked Starscream in the optics, a servo outstretched. “You seek revenge against Megatron, to rip apart his spark chamber. I’ve seen that look of vengeance in optics before and I will see it again, although hopefully not from you. I have witnessed you try to usurp Megatron time and time again, only to be beaten down and for you to try again, seeking a terrible revenge each time. If you try to bring an end to his violence with even greater violence, all you will have in the end is pain. I believe that there is good in you, Starscream. You are tired of this war and so am I, and together we can defeat Megatron, not so that we can gain satisfaction from his suffering, but so that we can rebuild our home. I don’t want to see you turn into yet another mech bent on vengeance, destroying whatever you have in order to achieve their revenge, only for you to actually achieve it and be left an empty frame. I think you could be so much more, Starscream. Please don’t become one of them and join us.”

For a moment there was silence, the only sound the faint whirr of their vents as Starscream looked at Optimus. His right optic twitched and he straightened up, his wings raised as a dark look passed over his faceplates. He smoothly strode forward and stood over Optimus. “Well,” he purred out. “I think I understand you a bit more on this day, Prime.” Starscream said, chuckling hollowly. 

Optimus tilted his head. He didn’t understand–the empty laughter and calculating look briefly overshadowed the claustrophobia as the Seeker stood tall above him, looking as if he had all of life’s mysteries at his clawtips.

Starscream walked over to Optimus’s right and sat down, his long legs curling underneath him. “We call you Autobots soft sparks, not quite fully understanding what makes you so numbingly kind, so bent and determined on justice and honor to the point you drone on in speeches about it. Yet today, I think I understand a little bit better why you’re so soft. Tell me, what if Megatron killed Bumblebee?” 

Optimus blinked. That was unexpected. This mortifying question combined with the Seeker’s downright conversational demeanor and haughtiness made a slight feeling of unease work its way through his struts. He could feel the prickling of Starscream’s EM Field, the field pulsing slightly and slowly weaving around the Seeker as smooth as molassess as a cold, calculating gleam entered Starscream’s optics. Optimus knew that look–it was the same look he had seen thousands of times before, that scheming look that he had as he twisted another web of lies and the puzzle pieces of the universe fit together in his favor. Optimus shook his helm, optics focusing on the smirking Seeker sitting in front of him.

“I would avenge him,” he rumbled out. Images of scratched yellow paint and a stumbling scout flashed through his processor, a faint trickle of fear forming in the back of his processor as he pictured Bumblebee never waking from recharge. He tightened his servos slightly, pushing the image away. He wouldn’t let that happen. “I would remember all that he has contributed to our cause and make sure that it would not go to waste. I would defeat Megatron and bring this war to an end in his name and in the name of the countless other Autobots who perished. I would create peace out of his sacrifice.”

Starscream moved his head to the side, that same scheming gleam in his optics. Somehow, Optimus knew that he said exactly what the Seeker expected him and wanted him to say.

“You go on, about bringing peace and making his sacrifice worth it in the name of a newer, better society. That, right there, is the soft-sparkedness of the Autobots that would make you ensure that his death is worth it. It’s also the same soft-sparkedness that will get him killed in the first place.” He waved a servo around in the air languidly and settled back, his wings smoothly extending from his back as he locked optics with Optimus. “How many times have you had the opportunity to kill Megatron? To snuff his spark for good and bring this war to an end, but chose not to?” 

“I refuse to kill an opponent who is defenseless.”

“A good code of honor, that it is!” Starscream said, laughing out. “But you must understand that that same honor and pride you Autobots carry with you–that you carry with you–is the same sense of honor that is indirectly responsible for the deaths of your own soldiers. Everytime you had the chance to kill Megatron but didn’t, every time you let him walk away was a time where you let your greatest enemy escape, only so that he may go off and kill more of your soldiers. By letting him live, you are letting him kill your soldiers. You are unwilling to get dirty and compromise your honor and save lives because you don’t want to tarnish your Autobot nobility by killing him. You refuse to kill him while defenseless, but there were actually many times where you had the opportunity to kill him and he wasn’t defenseless. You both race into battle, brutally fighting each other, the both of you equally powerful and just as strong as the other. Then, you occasionally get the chance to deactivate him, but let it slip away in the name of him being ‘defenselesss’, even though he’s just as strong as you and is just momentarily weakened!” Starscream laughed and leaned back on his servos. “That ‘defenseless’ mech is killing your people.”

Optimus froze, the words sinking in. It was a mental battle he had fought before and would, inevitably, fight again. He went into recharge at night thinking of the opportunities he had to bring an end to Megatron, but didn’t, only for Megatron to bring pain and suffering to him and others. 

“If I were to stoop down to his level and kill him, I am no better than him. Everybot has the chance to change, to become better,” he looked right into Starscream’s optics and the Seeker flinched slightly. “even Megatron. For me to kill him is for me to rid him of the chance to become a better person, to deny him the opportunity to become a good mech in time. I do not kill him out of a sense of pride or honor, Starscream, but out of a sense of hope. I hope that he will see reason and come to see the pointlessness of this war. I hope that he will be the good mech he once was. There are other ways to win this war besides his death. I wish to bring an end to this conflict with as little death as is needed, with as little suffering as is needed, because suffering brings on more suffering. I want to defeat the Decepticons and restore our home so that we may live side by side in peace. If I were to kill Megatron, there would be chaos within the ranks of the Decepticons. With you out of the picture now, many mechs would rise up and lay claim to the title of Lord and the Decepticons would tear themselves apart, creating more needless violence. I wish to defeat him and win this war without killing him in the hope that he may see reason.”

“And what if he doesn’t?” Starscream whispered, leaning in. “What if you have brought down the Nemesis and the chain of command and you have Megatron before you, defeated, and he still refuses to see reason? What if you have defeated him, and his only wish is to spring up and kill you with a new army? What then?” 

Optimus lowered his helm. He saw Megatron before him, behind bars, that urge to bring about justice and build a better society in his optics gone, replaced with a ravenous hunger to wage war.

“Then I would imprison him knowing that I gave him a chance.” 

Starscream leaned back, his mouth twisted and his EM field roiling impatiently. “You’re all about chances,” he hissed out. “give him a chance, give that mech a chance, give me a chance!” Starscream said loudly, his wings flaring out. “I haven’t seen you give any of them chances.” he said, looking off into space and gesturing with a servo.

Optimus stopped and thought. Who is “them”? Did he mean the other Decepticons that had served the cause, such as Dreadwing and Blitzwing? One of the other countless, brutal soldiers that had served the Decepticons?

“I don’t understand.” Optimus said.

Starscream laughed. “Of course you don’t. Alright, you’re willing to give the warlord, and even me a chance to improve. Why not, then, his footsoldiers? The Vehicons and Eradicons and other many drones whom you kill in waves on the battlefield, who fall only to be replaced and for their replacements to fall and die again? Why haven’t you given them a chance to improve, to be better?”

“Because they are drones and because they are necessary casualties,” Optimus said, and the words felt twisted and bitter as the cold acknowledgement of their mass deaths flashed through his processor. “I cannot approach one and and ask it to try to better them self, for it would be impossible, both due to their sheer numbers and because of their devotion to Megatron. They were literally born to serve him and his every command. How can I persuade something who was born to have only one main purpose in life, to make them cast aside that purpose in favor of something completely different? It would destroy them.” 

Starscream humphed as he sat cross-legged in front of Optimus. “Alright, fair reasoning. But you know, I noticed something just now Prime–you called them ‘it’. Not someone, but something,” Starscream said, a victorious rumble emanating from his field. “You don’t acknowledge them as people.”

“Neither do you.”

He looked hard at Starscream. “You throw the bodies of your own soldiers in front of you and use them as shields. When Megatron berates you, you shift the blame to them, even when it’s not their fault. You criticize me, the enemy, for being harsh with them when you, Starscream, their own Commanding Officer talks to them harshly and sometimes leaves them behind on the battlefield. I don’t see you try to defend them.” The words spilled out of Optimus’s mouth before he knew it.

“Because–because–” Starscream’s wings fluttered and stirred up motes of dust floating in the cave air. He huffed and lowered his wings, optics shuttering open and closed rapidly as his EM field began to expand outward and roil and froth with a sudden heat.

“They’re blind,” Starscream whispered, the words just barely within the range of Optimus’s audials. 

“They think that our current situation aboard the Nemesis is alright and that it’s okay, they fail to realize just how dire our situation truly is. They praised Megatron when he came back after abandoning us for years, and continued to praise him as he destroyed everything I managed to achieve in those same years. Megatron is a tyrannical will wrapped in flashy armor, with all the firepower in the world to back it up. But I—I am the catalyst. I am the one who plots our next move and who thinks through all the outcomes, and prepares for every single one.

I don’t think I can lead the Decepticons, I know I can. That is not arrogance, that is the truth. Your and your little team thought that the Nemesis was off puttering around in the stars, and yet there it was, suspended above your very helms as we mined and pounded into the Earth, taking and taking more and more energon. And no one noticed.”

Starscream stepped forward, narrowing his optics as his voice came out in a cold hiss. “No one. And who do you think is responsible for that?” he smiled a little and pranced away, his long legs carrying him to the other side of the cavern as he smoothly waved his talon. “He disappeared for three years, and for every single day of those three years we thought Lord Megatron to be building a great army, uniting our greatest soldiers scattered to the stars and strengthening the Decepticon ranks, making us greater than ever before. It was the most logical explanation. It was the only one we could accept!” Starscream whipped his helm around, his servos tightening at his sides as his wings shuddered. “And he came back with a rock. A rock of death, I might add.

For those three years we lived in a peaceful prosperity, mining and ever improving the Nemesis, making her into the flying beauty she is today. And then he comes crashing in like a meteor, making the peace buckle and fold as he forces his way back into our lives. He didn’t bring an army, he brought death. Death of the peace, death in the form of a voodoo rock!” Starscream shrieked, wings flaring and vents blowing hot.

Optimus watched Starscream as he frantically walked back and forth across the cave, his servos massaging his arms as his wings twitched and his EM field frazzled and crackled with a deep-seated rage.

“And he shoved it right into his spark chamber, the very essence of death right into his soul, and he never thought about the consequences. He is a grand fighter and can create even grander speeches, but he cannot plan for the life of him. He never thought to think of what would happen if he died—the army would’ve ripped itself apart, mechs coming from all over to lay claim to the throne, you said it yourself! I don’t know if I could’ve held them off—I hate to admit it, but many of those other Decepticons could’ve maybe actually had a chance at taking me down. Maybe. The fact that he risked dying and destroying the Decepticon army, the whole cause just so he can control zombies angers me, Prime. He is a buffoon. And the army loves him for it. They are idiots, and if they want to follow that idiot blindly, to throw their lives away blindly for him, then I don’t care if they deactivate.” Starscream said, his arms crossed and his vents blasting out hot air as his frame cooled.

Optimus looked at Starscream as the Seeker stood before him, his limbs drawn tight in tension as flares of annoyance bubbled through his EM field, most likely directed at his soldiers and Optimus. Starscream stood tall, his stance conveying confidence and the will and mind needed to lead, his red optics piercing through Optimus as the Seeker stared down at him. Optimus sighed and shuttered his optics. He’d seen mechs just like Starscream before. They were different colors, different frame types, were even members of different factions, but they were all the same, nevertheless. He’d seen them before. And he’d see them again.

“I have come across countless officers and officials in my function,” Optimus said, the words rumbling through the cave. “They are all different mechs in their own unique ways, but so many of them are the same. They stand tall, their fields bursting with the strength to command and the drive to do so, but they do not have it. They didn’t have the ability to inspire. Their subordinates did not look up to them as great leaders who could nobly lead them, they did not look up to their commanding officers as great mechs who would bleed and die for them as they fight for what’s right. 

Megatron is not a schemer, a master tactician, or an analyst—he is none of those things. He is an inspirer, a catalyst of a different kind. He suffered alongside them on Cybertron and taught them that what was happening to them wasn’t okay, and that they needed to fight back. His methods are brutal and he is incredibly cruel, but he is a source of inspiration in a way that you aren’t. That’s why if you overthrow him, you won’t be able to lead the same way he does; you are unable to inspire your troops.”

Starscream put his servos on his hips as impatience bled out of his field in waves. “Defending the enemy now, aren’t you? Why the sudden change of heart towards your enemy? Why defend him?”

Optimus shook his helm, his own field pulsing with sadness. “Because I am trying to make you see why he can lead the Decepticons and why you can’t—not in the same way, at least. I want you to understand that while you would make a good leader, you would not make a great one. Not until you understand what it means to inspire, to only ask your comrades to do something you yourself are willing to do.”

Starscream huffed. “And I suppose you are some great, inspiring leader yourself, Prime? I bet when you and him were still brothers so long ago, you took him aside and taught him all the ways he could give noble and inspiring speeches to rally troops.” 

“No. He taught me.”

Starscream froze for a moment, his mouth drawn into a thin line, and Optimus knows he’s won—for now, at least. He lets his own EM field gently expand outward and caress the prickling edges of Starscream’s field. He feels the Seeker’s field buck and contort as it twists away from his gentle caresses, pulling itself tight against Starscream’s frame as he shakes slightly. 

Starscream gets that look again, and Optimus does not need to look at him twice to see that he is plotting again. He sees Starscream’s field straighten and stretch up as the Seeker stands tall again, a sharp retort undoubtedly perched on the edge of Starscream’s glossa as he prepares to lash back, ready for another verbal battle.

Optimus won’t let that happen.

“You could be like that too, you know.”

Starscream’s mouth closes and his field shudders, flashing in confusion as he reigns it in again. “Be like what?” he screeches out, dentae grinding together. “A giant mech who stands on a podium and twists words into poetry, making grandiose speeches that make you feel all warm and tingly inside? I could be like that? Is that what you are saying?” 

Optimus looks at the frenzied Seeker before him, Starscream’s field lashing out and briefly whipping across the edge of his as Starscream prowls closer. 

“I think,”—Optimus says, and he knows he has to be careful—“that you could be an inspiration too.”

The frenzied field across from him drops flat, Starscream’s optics widening as his mouth drops open. 

Optimus stood up and moved beside Starscream, his battle mask retracting as Starscream stared up at him with wide red optics.

“You scheme and plot because your mind is your greatest strength, your finest and most sharpest weapon. You work alongside the giant that is Megatron and amongst other great mechs who can destroy you with their bare servos. You feel this need to be in control. When you have the situation under control, you have a chance at being heard and at being able to lead. You want to take the army and steer it in the right direction, controlling every variable so you can build an even brighter future. You want to create a great society, Starscream. It’s your dream.

“But it’s just that—a dream. And you know you don’t have the strength to make it happen. Whenever you gain any control over a situation, you lose that control, leaving you bitter, angry, and hungering for more power. When your scheming and plotting fails to give you the upper hand, you feel weak and vulnerable because your mind, your greatest weapon, failed to give you the power that you want. When you do manage to achieve victory and have power, something always comes along to take it away. Sometimes that something is in the form of Megatron, wrenching the control you desperately crave away from you so he can place himself back on top, all while taking credit for the achievements you made. He destroys whatever you’ve built for yourself.”

Starscream takes a step back, his vents back on in full force and his wings shaking as his EM field whips around him. Optimus stared into Starscream’s optics and felt a pang of guilt. Optimus shakes his helm, turning his gaze back onto Starscream. I need to do this.

“But the main mech—the one who sabotages you the most and leaves you powerless and hungry for control the most, the one who constantly undermines your plans and usurps you the most—is you.”

“You’re wrong,” Starscream chokes out, taking a step back and flinching as his wings hit the cave wall, the walls closing in around him. “He is my greatest enemy, he is the one stopping me from become great!” Starscream shrieks.

Optimus sends out calming waves, slowly stepping forward and pressing a large servo onto Starscream’s shaking shoulder. 

“I think that deep down, you are a good mech. I have seen countless mechs become corrupted by the horrors and tragedies of this pointless war, and you by far are the worst victim of this corruption I have seen. I’v seen you commit terrible crimes, but I think, Starscream, that you do those terrible things out of a sense of hope for a better future.”

Optimus sent more reassuring waves through his field to Starscream as he clenched his servos by his side and energon dripped from his wing. “I think that you want to be loved, deep down. You constantly strive to impress Megatron, only to be rejected by him even when you do well. So you try harder and harder to impress him, and even when you do accomplish anything, you are only criticized, resulting in you having this burning hatred for him. I believe that the horrors of this war have left you jaded and scarred, forcing you to repress your natural goodness so much that you’ve forgotten you have any good left in you at all.” Optimus said.

He squeezed Starscream’s shoulder as Starscream looked up at him, his optics shining a bright, piercing red as he stared up at Prime. Starscream looked away as he made optic contact with Optimus, gritting his dentae as his field frothed and quaked around them, the smooth waves from Optimus’s field gently drifting by Starscream’s burning one.

“I think that you don’t know what you want, Starscream,” Prime continued. “You think that you want to lead the Decepticons and become a great leader, but you also want to impress Megatron and be praised by him. And I know that you are constantly torn between these two desires, constantly balanced between the two, unsure of which one you really want. And I think you want neither. Because deep down, Starscream, I believe that you want to be good again. But you don’t know that you want this because you have tried so hard to push your nobility into oblivion. You’ve forgotten how to be good, and maybe you even hate yourself for wanting to be who you were before the war. Before the war began, you wanted to make great discoveries to make Cybertron a better, happier place.”

“No!” Starscream said. “I refuse to be compared to who I was before the war–a weak scientist who had delusions of going off and making great discoveries while making Cybertron a better place. I am Commander Starscream! He was weak, and I am not weak!”

“You’re not weak. I think you’re stronger than even you give yourself credit for. I also think, however, that you were strong even before you were Commander, and that you were strong even when you were a scientist. I think that you want to go back to being a scientist because you got to do good by helping others. But those days are long gone and this war has made monsters of us all, including you. You want to lead the Decepticons and be called Lord, you want to be praised by Megatron, but you also want to be good again. And you have been forced into a situation where you can have none of these things.

“You lash out and fight in the only way you can. You lie. You manipulate, you twist and turn the minds and emotions of mechs so you can get what you want and use them as a stepping stone. And when they fail to fall under your control, you lash out and fight with them, guilting them in the hopes that you can remain in control by defeating them in an argument. And when that fails, you panic, you beg and you plead for mercy because all you want most is to survive to the next day so you can try again at being in control. You are caught in a vicious cycle of self-destruction. As I stand before you now, I watch you fall apart.”

“No, no–”

“But for a while there, you had hope. You saw joining the Autobots as a stepping stone to power, albeit a different one, and I know that you told yourself that the only reason you wanted to join us was so that you can grow stronger and be in control of the Decepticons one day—not as the leader of the Decepticons, but as their conqueror.”

Optimus knelt down in front of the shaking Seeker, making Starscream whimper. Starscream clenched his servos as his optics darted around, his EM field blasting around them.

“But I know that deep down, you had a second reason for joining the Autobots. You saw us as a way to escape the vicious cycle, a chance at fighting back against the mechs who bully you. Megatron treated you poorly and passed over you time and time again in favor of newcomers you knew to be untrustworthy and treacherous. Your hatred for Airachnid comes from the fact that Megatron likes her more than you, even though you’ve fought and sacrificed so much for him over the course of almost your entire life. But I believe that the main reason you hate Airachnid is because she reminds you of you. You met somebody who is just as treacherous as you are, and you saw just how desperate for power you’ve become. You didn’t like what you saw in yourself. You remembered your innate goodness and wanted to be a good person again. I think that you want to be a better mech. You hate yourself, and you saw us as a way to make yourself a bit better, and to maybe even redeem yourself.”

Optimus moved closer, his faceplate inches from Starscream’s.

“But you failed. Your past caught up with you and for all your skill in twisting words, you let your pride and arrogance overtake your ability to think, and you let slip the truth of Cliffjumper’s death. In that moment, your ability to lie and scheme could not save you, your greatest weapon wasn’t enough to protect you. That vicious cycle came back. You sabotaged yourself and tried to lie and manipulate your way back into power, only to fail and end up beaten, only to be saved from dying by Arcee’s blade by sheer chance. So you ran. And I now what your options are—you can become a rogue, or return to Megatron. Either way, you see death coming for you. You might starve if you become a rogue. if you return to Megatron, you might get killed by his servo. You have no options. And you know that you’re doomed to struggle—to struggle to survive in the wilderness, all while struggling to find a way back into Megatron’s favor. The cycle you hate so much and desperately tried to escape from is now your only hope for survival—you want the cycle back. It’s all you have. You want to get caught in that vicious cycle aboard the Nemesis. You need that cycle of destruction. You’re dying inside.”

Optimus squeezed Starcream’s shoulder while sending out gentle waves, the Seeker staring at him wide-eyed, his wings clattering against the rock behind him as his vents came in hard pants.

“Why are you like this? This war has broken us all, but it has destroyed you. What happened to you to make you into what you are?”

The only sounds were of Starscream’s shaking vents and his shivering body as his armor clattered together. His EM field was a wild thing, stretched out in all directions, raw and exposed, crackling and pulsing with panic and sheer terror like a wild sea. Optimus tried harder to send out more calming waves, his optical ridges narrowed in concentration as he pulsed calm and you’re safe with me through his field. What has he done to you? Optimus thought, his field tinging with sadness. 

All of a sudden, something snapped. Starscream’s field bent and twisted itself away from the soothing touch of Optimus’s. Starscream latched onto Optimus’s wrist with his servo and wrenched the servo away from his shoulder. Starscream gasped and stumbled back, sliding away from between Optimus and the wall as he moved to look straight into the Prime’s optics, his wings raised high on his back.

“You think you know everything, don’t you?” he laughed out, and a cruel smile stretched across his face. “You’ve got everything figured out!” Starscream laughed again, and it was a horrible sound.

Optimus was frozen on the inside; this maniacal sound was far from what was expected of the silver seeker, and yet there he was, laughing as if he was the happiest mech in the world and was not terrified of being crushed to death by a thousand tons of rock above and the ten thousand tons of truth Optimus had just laid atop him. The laughter went on, and Optimus continued to think and run through everything. How did this happen? When will my team arrive? How do I help him?

Optimus watched as Starscream laughed on, his bright red optics shining brighter than ever before. Starscream’s vents heaved as his maniacal laughter continued on, his servos on his knees as his light frame shook and jolted with each terrible laugh booming out of him. Optimus moved closer, letting a servo land on Starscream’s shoulder. He stooped down, letting waves of calm and are you okay? flow out of him and towards the shaking Seeker.

“Y-you know what?” Starscream said, his frame shaking as looks up into Optimus’s optics. “You’re right. But not about all things—maybe I am doomed to suffer. But I am not doomed to lose. I will win one day, and I will use whatever awful means I need to to achieve it. My victory definitely won’t be today, but it will come—maybe a hundred or a thousand years from now, but it’ll come. Because everybody, including you, can beat me down, either physically or mentally, but it doesn’t matter because no matter how hard they beat me down, I’ll just get back up and continue fighting. Over and over and over again!”

His EM field drew around, his determination spiking through it as it flowed and wreathed around Starscream. 

“I won’t stop. You can tell me all the little ways in which I’ve failed and will continue to fail, but, it doesn’t matter in the end because I will win one day. You can destroy me mentally, but I’ll just come back more determined than ever before. You can beat me down to my spark chamber and leave me a broken and bleeding mess, and–and I’ll rebuild my body from my pedes to my crest just so I can come back and punch you.” He stumbled away from Optimus, his wings flaring out as his EM field exploded outwards and consumed the air. 

“I will continue to be mean to my soldiers as long as they choose to follow the idiot that is Megatron. I don’t have this innate goodness, or nobility, or whatever you want to call it—I am horribly, beautifully awful and I know it.

“I will continue to insert myself into that vicious cycle, or whatever you want to call it, because I know that each time I try to win and get beaten down, I get stronger. I can only get smarter from here on out. Every time I try to win and I fail, I still get to learn from what I did wrong so that I can lie and manipulate better next time. I lose less and less often now. Megatron still comes by and he still beats me into the ground, but it makes me all the more determined to overthrow him. Maybe you’re right in that I don’t have what it takes to inspire an army and truly lead them. But you know what? I’ll try to lead them anyway, and if they refuse to follow me, I will make them follow me. I will not stand by and let them ruin my chances to end this pointless, stupid war and rebuild our home because they don’t like my style.

“I’m going to rebuild Cybertron and make it better than it ever was before, a place led neither under the tyranny of Megatron, or the soft-sparkedness of Autbots. I have already made great discoveries, discoveries about what must be done to make Cybertron stronger, and I will make Cybertron stronger and more powerful than it ever was before.

“If some great, brave warrior comes burning down onto the Nemesis from the stars and wrenches control of the army from me, becoming the next Megatron, then I will continue to lie and manipulate until I can wrench the throne back. I won’t stop fighting. Even if I’m a disembodied floating spark, I will keep fighting.”

He laughed out again as his vents hitched and hiccuped. “I don’t care,” Starscream said, his optical ridges drawn together as a determined gleam entered his optics. “I’ll keep going and going even if it destroys me in the end. I’m in too deep, I can’t back out now, or what will it have all been for? I will lie and be as sweet as I need to be to make the allies I need to survive, and I will prepare myself for the backlash when they end up betraying me. I am alone, because I am all that I need. I don’t need friends, or my trinemates, they make me weak and blindly trusting. I have learned to live in a world of betrayal, and I can navigate it with ease. Everyone is out to get me in some way, even you, and I will fight back against them. I won’t let them betray not again, not ever again! He can introduce all the new, treacherous officers he wants while ignoring me. He can continue to mass-produce more drones to blindly follow and praise his every move. He can disappear for as long as he wants and come back with nothing but death again for all I care. I’ve faced it all before and I’ll face it all over again if it means that one day, I will have my victory. I don’t need to be happy, I just need to win in the end. I don’t care how much he beats me. I’ll always get back up in the end.”

Starscream stands taller, his servos drawn into tight fists besides his sides as he stares straight into the optics of Prime. His EM field flashes and whirs around him, bleeding confidence and I won’t yield. Starscream flutters his wings, forcing them to stand tall on his back as he moves to be face to face with the Prime. "I will never yield."

And I’ll defeat you–all the Autobots, and I’ll never have to hear you pick and pull me apart ever again. I’ll keep fighting for millions of years if I have to, as long as I rise up on top. I won’t stop, I’ll never stop. I don’t care how he makes me feel, how he makes me feel worthless, because I know that I am not worthless. I’m Starscream, I won’t go down for good, no matter how much Megatron hurts me. I’ll beat him back one day.” 

For a moment there was only silence, the red and blue of their optics the only light in the small cave. 

A hard, strange look entered Optimus’s eyes and Starscream takes a step back, red optics flashing red as they widen. The Prime moves to stand, the crest of his helm inches from the ceiling of the cave as he rises up to tower over the Seeker. 

Optimus Prime towered over Starscream, but not in a tyrannical way. There was no malice in the way he looked down upon the shivering Seeker below, and neither was there any desire to scare and intimidate as he stepped nearer. Optimus walked closer to Starscream and knelt again, looking Starscream dead in the eye.

“He beats you.”

Starscream froze.

It was not a question, but a statement.

“No, he–” 

“Don’t lie. For once, just don’t lie.”

Optimus’s tone was cold and flat, making Starscream’s wings drop down his back. The Prime’s normally controlled field rippled with a hidden emotion as his servos tightened by his sides, puffs of smoke escaping from his smokestacks.

“He abuses you. He beats you down into the ground, telling you you’re worthless and that you are nothing. He has ripped away the things that make you happy and makes you live in a constant need to fight. You’re constantly paranoid and worried about betrayal. He has already beaten you. You’re a dead mech walking.”

Starscream chokes. He takes a step back and shakes his helm back and forth, his field splitting apart and fracturing as his servos grasp at empty air, the cave closing in as he thinks This isn’t how this is supposed to go, I’m not in control, I’m not in control I’mnotincontrol 

Starscream stumbles back, shaking even more, his optics darting around the cave. He feels his processor light up with activity as he plunges yet again into his schemes, the normally comforting outcomes and possibilities making him feel as if he’s drowning. Starscream looks into Prime’s optics and flinches. Optimus is staring at him differently now, that hard look in his optics gone and replaced with a deep sadness that seemed endless in the blue of his eyes. Starscream stared hard at the cave floor, his frame shuddering as confusion works its way into his panicking processor. He’s seen that look in Prime’s optics before, seen it multiple times over the course of the entire war, but he doesn’t understand what it means, what it is—

Pity.

Starscream felt as if he’d been slapped on the face.

“I,” Starscream snarled out, the words coming before he’s even aware, “am not something to be pitied!” Starscream’s wings jerk forward, slicing into the air.

“Oh, ‘he beats you!’ what’s the big deal? He–He–” Starscream gasps hard, his processor dull and clouded as his optics itch and burn while the thought that this shouldn’t be happening thisshouldn’tbehappening Ihavetofight I have to fight repeats over and over in his helm.

“I bet you’re no different! I bet you beat your team too! Every one of them! You–you degrade them the same way and–and–you’re no different!”

Dead silence fell.

Starscream stood there heaving. Optimus shifted slightly on his knee and stared at the ground.

Optimus’s helm shot up, a blazing fire in his optics. 

“I have made many mistakes. Sometimes, I can lose sight of what’s in front of me in the name of the greater good. I sometimes believe myself to be nobler and greater than I truly am, losing sight of the fact that I am just a mech. Sometimes I let those who wish to hurt the people I care about walk away alive out of my own sense of righteousness. However,” Optimus stares into Starscream’s optics, that blazing fire and anger in the Prime’s optics still there, but not directed at him, Starscream realized with a jolt.

“I do not beat my team. I never have and never will. I would rather be deactivated and left to rust than raise my servo or my words against them. I strive to pull my team together, not to pull them apart and break them. They serve me not out of fear, but out of love. We are friends, and friends don’t hurt each other that way.”

Optimus moved closer, his arms wrapping around Starscream.

“You need a friend.”

The light in the cave was faint, lit only by their blue and red optics, but Optimus noticed it nevertheless. It was faint and he had to take a second good luck to see it, but it was there; the faint sheen of coolant prickling in the corners of Starscream’s optics.

Coolant dripped down Starscream’s faceplates as he began to weep. Optimus moved forward, pulling Starscream close before he could protest and holding the crying Seeker to his chest. He isn’t aware of how much time he stays like that, weeping while wrapped in Optimus’s arms. All he’s aware of is the warm rumbling of his engine and the calming, soothing waves coming from Optimus’s field.

He isn’t aware when the cave is lit up with a brilliant green glow and dirt is blasted against their frames, wind blowing out from the rushing roar of the groundbridge opening on the other side of the cave.

He isn’t aware when Ratchet comes through, optics wide and field blaring shock at the sight of him weeping in Optimus’s arms.

Ratchet stares at Optimus, a thousand questions running through his processor and ready to spill out of his mouth. Slowly, Optimus turns around, and Ratchet freezes. A deep sadness is in Optimus’s optics, but with it there’s a faint glimmer of hope. Optimus gives a small smile and strokes a servo down Starscream’s back. Ratchet nods, his legs feeling weak as Optimus rises to stand and gently carries the Seeker in his arms.

Starscream is only faintly aware as Optimus gently readjusts him in his arms and steps through the brilliant green glow of the groundbridge, the light consuming them.

For the first time in a long time, Starscream felt alive.


End file.
